broke camp a few days ago.
it bloody screwed up

so much to say
so much to blog.
lets take it away slowly.

DAY ONE -
went to sch wif the sian-will-school-jus-end? attitude
drifted through lessons in semi-conscious stupor
bloody lessons finally ended
chiong out of classrm.

everybody was busy packing goody bags
bloody hell everybody was wasting time packing goody bags whn the camp itself nt fully prepared
thanks to hu? him lor.
then nobody know wat they supposed to do lah
no proper breifing
no meeting
no discussion
i dunno waddefuck is happening
then
camp started.

He took away half a bloody hour
half a bloody hour
had to argue hard wif mr han to change and recombine activity
can jus b abit more flexible pls?
so i took part b and c for shorrrt pt
den combine with girls and took them for IFC
everything went well
den we had dinner. which went well as well.

bunk check and allocation came next.
i did the check wif my RSM.
it was well done
discipline ensured
importance of bunk cleanliness stressed
did alot of shouting
the parents having ptm above
fuck them lah why put ptm there huh
got so many other places.
cb. put thr of course kana noisy lah
ncc whr got no shout one
so i shouted and shouted
then our 'savior' poked his head out of above
and told me to stop shouting
knn.
die le i din know he was above
he heard my voice.

k fine den i chiong home and back agn
took my ake stuffs
i shdnt have gone ake.

came back
ptm over! finally
whacked the cadets for the firs time
whacked across level
finally the feeling of true ncc
then HE came up while jonny loke was whacking part c
relac lah jonny HE loves you he wun do anyth to you one
lucky is nt i whack one
HE will MURDER me. :)

bunk clean until sibei clean i have to sae
budden sir jun quan still found much reason to knock my ppl
i kinda felt the bunk clean and whacking was directed by me can
evn though HE dun let me do anyth
bloody hell him
i still plan lots of things and carry out lots of things behind his back ;)

lights out after tat.

he debriefed us guys
shoot me like shit
bloody hell
if i dun run your camp behing your bloody back you see wat happen lah
if i dun run ncc behind your bloody back
you see wat happen lah
whole day dig up past happenings
shoot me
you suppress the potential ppl from my platoon
and you keep trying to kill the ppl hu can save your ncc non stop
you do not realise importance of certain ppl (not saying myself)
fear of authority blinds you
fear of prosecution clouds your judgement
lack of competency makes you weak.
i hate you.
you have no respect from my men and i

after tat wini and yitong had a small discussion wif us guys
i alr abit worried
the way they talked
tat the next day would b alittle screwed up
and i was gg away on ake

but i had faith in everyone

DAY 2 -

PT in the morning
taken by shuen and i
hiong. but passable. not rly camp standard
den breakfast
told kahsing to get MOC up and running.
he did it.
kick started part C gsk lesson and test.

then ran off for AKE.
big mistake.

whn i came back
it was ard 7
firs thing i got was a serious "alot of things happened" from jonny
then i got an explanation of wat happened that day.
firstly the C&C and drill mutual tests were screwed up
fk man hu dun have the common sense that drill mutual test and lesson nid one day space?
cadets nid time to plan right?
they not super man and woman right. wake up can.
then FIELD COOKING.
screwed up nt enough solid fuel and food and matchsticks.
some cadets diarrhoea some nvr eat.
this is enough to earn us a changing parade from sir jun quan.
but he din do tat
he lost so much faith he din want to do tat
oni hold us in pumping position and scold oni
hus fot?
its my fot.
i went for ake

shd hve known
our dear OIC wasnt up to running a camp on his own
field cooking oso nvr plan properly
nvr tell the S4IC his responsibilities
heard u weren't even thr during the field cooking.
events suppose to run itself issit?
tmd.
dunnoe that drill mutual nid one day space b4 test
gave the permission to carry out test straight away
i always have to come back
get horrified at the mess you made
and clean up the shit for you
same thing happened during dec holidays profi tests
PROFI TEST MY ASS
the kinda shit standard
IFC teach wrong
rifile drill teach wrong
i had to retest for you bloody hell
if not your cadets fail spec course le
i dun even need to do this you see?
im stripped of my bloody rank
i try to help
i get kaopeied at.
but if i dun help
everything screws up
dammit. im sick of this.

okay fine.
so i did solo night for you ppl.
and it went well.
but interestingly i was disappointed
it wasnt scary
it wasnt anything
why?!
cos someone forgot all about whistles in the pack list
damned.
during solo night
i had to hide and stealth
why?!
cos they dun let me take
tmd.
im a bloody specialist
i have the right to take
you have no right to suppress my leadership and my capabilities
you ppl are all abt developing ppl
isnt this quite the opposite?
i dunno la anyway i had to take in secret
and solo night went well.

then we had a debreif by junquan
he hold us in pumping position
and told us wat he felt
he feels like i do
tat ncc
is dying
tat we
are losing faith
i fully understand
he said tat the firs day
we did well in changing the timetable to suit the lateness of activity start
hmm lets think abt hu did the changing huh
second day he says in the morning he still had hope
but as the day progress, screw ups start to pop out.
and as the day ended, he lost faith, the oni thing tat saved us was solo night.
hm. if i din leave for ake
alot of things would have been different.
damned.

i dunno lah
im confused.
i dunno wat to do
i dun wanna complain

why am i posting so much.

i grew so tired from my ake
i fell asleep

DAY 3 -
overslept.
walau. someone saw me sleeping lor hor
like dead pig somemore right
nvr wake me up one
PT again.
was okayy. more hiong. less hiong for part c
then i took a bath
i STINKS.
but i din stinks after my bath
of course.
change to no.4 and went to take C&C for charlie...1 or 2 arh?
forgot liao the one got YQ inside one jiu shi.
anyw
was so infuriated by YQ lah can
how can you throw me this kinda part A in disguise and not expect me to knock
give me for C&C
under my rule.
this kinda cadet will not lead a good life.
obviously treats ncc like shit
she would have kana tekan like hell long time ago
anw i tekan so little oni can
she defy my orders can
tis kind of attitude
i cant stand
blame it on she suay to come under me for C&C
bloody hell.
we are one ncc
we are not 2 separate ncc
i see no reason why our standards of discipline and punishment should differ.
i'll b watching her
next time she shows tis kinda shit
she gets it.


then after tat
sumone cancel pop lor
someone cancel promotion lor
why?
cos got parents come early lor
knn. who are parents? kings and queens arh
they come early too bad lah hu ask them stupid
why shd we change our plans to suit their blunder?
why the bloody fuck shd we fear them?
they nt happy
pls by all means remove your baby from my unit
i do not need a weakling
in my unit.
ncc is to toughen ppl up
get it?
we are army.
we are not sissy.
you send your kid inside here expecting tough treatment
and accept it.
stop complaining
stop bitching ard with letters
camp broke.
i felt NO sense of accomplishment
i felt DISAPPOINTMENT
i felt despair.

tis is nt my ncc anymore
the ncc i once knew no longer exists
even the fire in me is dying now