its finally over isnt it
sometimes, at times like this, you wish ur memories could just disappear
memories form ur heart
from memories u derive ur feelings
sometimes feelings hurt
sometimes i wish i had no heart
just like you.

i wish i could face this as matter of factly as you do
like its nothing
like its just another errand u have to get off your back
you know what
i'll pray for you tonight
i'll pray you find the light
i'll pray you find happiness in life
i'll pray you'll find another who suits you more.
i'll pray that the flame of your love will burn forever next time,
and not extinguish with apparent ease like it did
i pray u treat him better than u did me
i'll pray that our experience has done you good
that your memories(hopefully you have some) will be useful in the future

it hurts to remember so much bliss
it hurts that it will nvr happen again
it hurts even more that you remember nothing
that you share no memories
over time my heart has been cut up plenty of times
now it feels decimated.

so this it wat it feels like to be lost
the feeling of hopelessness
to drift, not knowing to which direction you are headed
to find a temporary absence to the meaning of life
feels like my motivation has been completely ripped out
after all, my onli source of that is gone
i want to tell myself to get my head screwed on right
to stop being messed up
but lets just take time to feel depressed shall we
why fight when hopefully it will go away by itself
from now im alone again

and i'll be spending my birthday alone this year


i wonder why people can be so cruel. you said i dunt trust you. when actually i did to the fullest. i trusted that you woul d love me and come back to me. i read somewhr that trust onli leads to pain, when it is betrayed. so far u lived a happy life. in a way u chose to abandon it. maybe when you find the feelings of betrayal and insecurity, you will understand. perhaps u need to suffer more.